Friday

Two days have passed
And all I want is to feel better
They won't be back
And the long weekend is coming up.
-The Dears
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Sent via my BlackBerry

a reason to rejoice

ONE MORE WEEK!August 11th can't come soon enough.
It's the last day of classes where I will present my thesis as part of the professional review and presentation part.
I will be one step closer to teacher certification.
Never have to be in such close proximity to stupid, vapid, asshole bitches ever again.

it's sunny outside and i'm stuck on my computer

Applied to 10 more Durham region postings today. I don't think I have ever applied to so many jobs in my life than in the past couple of weeks. I am used to applying for jobs, getting interviews, and acing those interviews. So all this rejection is getting me down. And it's not even rejection... I'm not even deserving of a rejection response!How many more times can I do this before my spirits are COMPLETELY crushed?

Am contemplating applying to my old social services agency for a six-month contract position that is posted. It's a full-time position that deals with sending displaced clients (usually with mental issues) back home to their families. Sort of like a travel agent for the social services, lol. Six months would be perfect. Then, once again, I can focus on applying to next year's teaching positions.

Gotta buckle up for some more stupid coursework on the computer as I gaze longingly out my window.

Listening to: MSTRKRFT - Paris

time well spent in class

Applied to 15 Occasional Teacer postings in Durham region during Children's Lit class this morning.

This is the most pointless class - the prof reads us chilren's stories. Then we have to select a children's book and create a follow-up activity, and present it to the class. No one in class is paying attention; rather, they are all completing other coursework, msn'ing, FBing, or perhaps applying for jobs online like me. Have I mentioned lately that teacher's college sucks?

Damn, still 5 more hours until we head back to Toronto.

Listening to: stupid questions from classmates

say what you mean, mean what you say

A sample of an msn chat with Snoopy yesterday:

Snoopy says (7:04 PM):

are you coming over for BBQ?

Mi² @ work says (7:04 PM):

when?

Snoopy says (7:05 PM):

nowish

Mi² @ work says (7:05 PM):

noooo

Snoopy says (7:05 PM):

you're gay

Mi² @ work says (7:05 PM):

why are you inviting me so late?

Snoopy says (7:05 PM):

i just got home

and decide to have a BBQ

Mi² @ work says (7:05 PM):

i just want to come over and chill in your hot tub

Snoopy says (7:06 PM):

sure

bring a bikini

Mi² @ work says (7:07 PM):

i am not coming over tonite though. i have plans

Snoopy says (7:07 PM):

well then you're not getting laid!

Mi² @ work says (7:07 PM):

whatevs

Snoopy says (7:08 PM):

really?

can I watch?

Mi² @ work says (7:09 PM):

NOOO

private affair lol

Snoopy says (7:10 PM):

fine

I'm not letting you watch me have sex either then

Mi² @ work says (7:10 PM):

i never asked to watch you have sex, dude. wrong girl!

Snoopy says (7:10 PM):

yes you did

you were drunk

and don't remember

Mi² @ work says (7:10 PM):

no i fucking didn't

Snoopy says (7:10 PM):

: P

Mi² @ work says (7:10 PM):

ive never been drunk with you

Snoopy says (7:10 PM):

yah

we made out

Mi² @ work says (7:11 PM):

where?

Snoopy says (7:11 PM):

and you touched the tip of my penis

whadddddayamean where

Mi² @ work says (7:11 PM):

where were we, dumdum?

Snoopy says (7:12 PM):

in your pants

Mi² @ work says (7:12 PM):

i think you've been fantasizing too much

if you wanna make out, just say so

Snoopy says (7:12 PM):

lol

Mi² @ work says (7:12 PM):

god

Snoopy says (7:12 PM):

fine

let's make out

Mi² @ work says (7:12 PM):

maybe

depends

Snoopy says (7:12 PM):

fine

sure

let's just get into the hot tub and see what happens

Mi² @ work says (7:13 PM):

i hit the hot tub every monday nite

and nothing happens

Snoopy says (7:13 PM):

where?

Mi² @ work says (7:13 PM):

i just get really relaxed

at the hotel

Snoopy says (7:13 PM):

what hotel?

Mi² @ work says (7:13 PM):

the clarion

in fucking barfalo

Snoopy says (7:13 PM):

why do you go there?

Mi² @ work says (7:13 PM):

omg i'm in school dumdum!

Snoopy says (7:13 PM):

i can't keep up

with your ventures

Mi² @ work says (7:14 PM):

every monday and tuesday i have classes there so i stay over

you dont even care : (

Snoopy says (7:14 PM):

you know i love u

so shut up

Mi² @ work says (7:14 PM):

prove it!

Snoopy says (7:14 PM):
(emoticon rose)

see!

there

Mi² @ work says (7:14 PM):

omg a cheesy emoticon?

you gotta try harder than that

Snoopy says (7:14 PM):

well

Mi² @ work says (7:14 PM):

at least make a custom one

Snoopy says (7:15 PM):

anyways

I'm going to go downstairs

and grill pork souvlaki

and flirt with various asian girls

Mi² @ work says (7:16 PM):

good luck!

Snoopy says (7:16 PM):

have a nice evening

Mi² @ work says (7:16 PM):

you too!

Snoopy says (7:16 PM):

ciao

I don't understand why people can't just be forthcoming with what they want. For instance, instead of saying he "owes" me a nice dinner, why can't he just ask me out to dinner like normal people would? Or, alternately, if he wants to get it on, why not just relay that information flirtatiously like regular folk would? I just don't get it. Emotional maturity accounts for something big in my world. I don't like guessing games. And what is up with the asian girls? AARGH!

Listening to: baby Emm and lil' Declo's sweet voices in the next room

true blood and grit

I am now an official member of the Ontario College of Teachers! Just need to forward my NYS teaching certificate and Medaille College transcripts when they become available in August and my file will be complete.

Applied to several jobs today:
- San Carlos Apache Indian Reserve, Arizona. Close to Tuscon and Phoenix. SUN!!
- 17 postings all over Peel Region, for Full-Time Permananent as well as Long Term Occupancies (LTO, ranging from Kindergarten (!!!) to grade 8 to a behavioural classroom. For postings that I am not qualified for (i.e. grade 7-8, special ed), I just added whatever qualification it is that I need as "pending" in my cover letter.

Keepin' the fingers *and* toes crossed!

I made it into LP school yesterday, for the first time since my placement ended in May. It was worth dragging my ass out of bed in the morning to see the looks of excitement on the grades 4/5's faces when they walked into the classroom. It was like old times again, me standing at the front of the class, greeting each of them. I know there is a divide between the "hands-off" camp and the "kids needs hugs" camp but I just couldn't resist hugging them all back. It was nice to hear "You're back! Can you stay for good?" and "Things haven't been the same without you." *tears up* I am going back next Wednesday to say goodbye, their last day of classes being on Thursday. As the end of the school year approaches, teachers are clearly anxious and the kids are hyper. Not much teaching happening now but I did do some round robin reading with them to calm them down after lunch.

In other news, I have put off writing chapter 3 of the damned dissertation. It is due in a couple of days but for the life of me, I just can't begin. It seems like a complete waste of time and focus when in the end, I don't even get a letter grade. Unless you count an "S" for "Satisfactory." I have no impetus to put an effort into this long-winded piece of crap. UGH! Well, I have been somehat distracted by the HBO series True Blood. I bought the first season this week and I can't stop watching it every night. Southern-fried vampires...mmm mmm good! I wish that I could put this much focus onto my work...

une nuit delicieuse

A long overdue post-date post.

Finally met The Chef last Sunday at his West Toronto home after several months of Blackberrying and phone calls. It was well worth the wait! I had worked an 8 hour shift with seven teenaged hoodlums at the Bunker so I was really looking forward to some down-time, and despite the first date jitters, I sure landed some..... Five hours of it! The first thing I noticed, upon approaching his cute cottage-like home was his big black dog going berserk behind the screen door. Luckily, The Chef noticed the intrusion and came to let me in.

First impression: warm, relaxed, definitely not a psycho. SCORE! He was sinewy, wore glasses, and really mellow. We spent most of the evening on his back deck; drinking wine, smoking cigarettes, eating chocolate and strawberries; while his dog Charlie intermittently napped by our feet,rising up to chase random noises (and a cat) behind the bushes. Talk was easy and the (dare I say it) chemistry was even better. I don't think anyone's ever called me "charming" before, haha! We spoke of our families to work to past relationships to architecture to Teenage Head -- I sure hope that we aren't nearly all talked out. He showed me his tats and *tried* to show me his "nice feet" but I flatly declined glancing at them. Not on the first date - what kind of a girl do you think I am? This didn't stop him from grabbing at mine, being a fan of painted toes (and my shoes). SCORE!

All in all, it was well worth getting home at 2:30am only to get up at 5am to head to Barfalo for school. As for the goodbye kiss, in my awkwardness, it got messed up when we sort of collided and it turned into a hug. All isn't lost - the next day, he emailed me to thank me for the nice time we had. And I can't wait to see him again :)

Listening to: Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

you applied where?!

I applied online for a teaching job yesterday. It's in Abu Dhabi which is supposed to be the second richest city in the UAE after Dubai.

Details:
$81 K for the year (Sept-June)
Paid accomodation
Full healthcare
Paid airfare
Sun-Thurs 7:30-2pm

I told my dad and he said "You'll be lucky if you make it back after the year is up. They stone women over there!"

Snoopy: "Lame. Especially for women. You can't eat with men. And you'll have to drive through the desert to a shack to buy booze."

Didi: WHY?

I figure that it will be an experience, but more importantly, one year of teaching abroad will pay off all student debt. *sigh* And I would come back to Canada after the contract is up.

Ideally, I would land a job in the GTA, preferably in downtown Toronto. Or somewhere in Canada so I can start contributing to the pension plan. To be honest, I'd be happy supply teaching this coming school year. I need the break.

Time to research Nunavut.

Listening to: Bloc Party - Banquet

LBNTS (La bohème's Next Top Suitor)

Congratulations, Chef.
You are still in the running toward becoming my next top suitor.

Listening to: Spoon - Sister Jack

here we go....

Back in Barfalo, 2nd day of last semester. Getting up at 6:30am is not so bad when you are snoring by 9:15pm the night before. Yesterday's classes weren't as bad as I had anticipated seeing as there weren't too many intense assignments on the syllabi. Some pointless ones, of course, but this is teacher's college after all. Two more courses today: Child Abuse & School Violence and Children's Literature. Clandestine instant messaging and online gaming gets us all through.

8 more weeks to go!!

Listening to: other early-risers in class

in a bad way

Creeping around
my parents' house at 5:19AM
Third week of sleepless nights
no respite in sight.
Withdrew all of my RRSPs this week
to make last semester's insane tuition
Damn graduate programs,
Stupid yankees!
Have yet to start my research project
put in 55% effort
and reap the undeserved reward of an A.
In the early hours of the morning
I'd sooner be at a nightclub
or maybe a different country
than be in my adolescent bedroom
wide awake.
Thinking about other matters,
like the river in Egypt
or bananas and oranges
I must..resist...
Try to block it all out
a la Spock.
Makes no difference how it feels.
Or else, I'll find myself
in an even worse way.

Listening to: Boards of Canada - Music is Math

can't get started

Ugh, I am in dissertation hell. Have to write an approximately 100 page dissertation or "capstone" action research paper as the Americans call it (imagine the accent)and chapter one is due by midnight on Monday . 10 pages of garbage, as I see it. I'm a teacher, not a researcher on "To what extent is 'X' affected by 'Y'?" and also sub-concerns of how 'X' affects 'Y.' FAWK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last semester hasn't even officially started yet and here it is, the dissertation, haunting my nightmares, weighing down my shoulders, wreaking havoc on these summer-like last weeks of May. Goddamn you!

I don't even know if I want to keep my topic of female relational aggression with a focus on cyberbullying and what teachers can do to intervene. I am thinking of changing it to how a balanced literacy approach in the classroom is beneficial to English and non-Engrish learners. I hate being a student. I hate teacher's college. The problem is that school really seems to love me.

So I kept forcing myself back to sleep this morning, until 2:30pm, having originally woken up at 9:30am, knowing that I had this to deal with. I had some oatmeal and coffee, made up a carpool schedule, listened to music, looked up lyrics, chatted on msn, shot off some emails, and basically fucked the dog in order to avoid doing this goddamn dissertation.

Anyone, words of encouragement will be appreciated.

How do you force yourself to do something that you have no interest in but know that the deadline is looming? I intend to finish this thing SOMEHOW by Sunday since I've got an all-night MJ tournament planned (no KFC allowed except for the food).

In the meantime, I'm gonna go and watch some FMA.

Listening to: LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends

Just another Sunday in the 'hood

At work today at the open detention facility in the East end. So far, had brunch, chatted with the 6 teen hooligans who are so hyper, needy, and uncouth. I tried to coerce them into playing Scrabble or doing a poetry workshop but they were disinterested, instead, they tried to coerce me into procuring a tennis ball from the roof's gutter. After much cajoling, I went up the wobbly rusty ladder four rungs and chickened out. All this on the most blustery day this long weekend! They stopped harassing me seeing as i TRIED, and so i gave them a hard foam ball. To play Red Ass with, lol. I'm soaking up the rays outside, while they whip each others' asses, with a latex glove on their right hand (don't ask). Why can't they be content to watch movies all day so i can read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in peace? Sigh.

Oh, and there's still the matter of the dead mouse in the laundry room to be taken care of. Green bin? Garbage bin? Mouse soup for dinner?

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Sent via my BlackBerry

Grade One

The last day of my practicum with my grade one class during the Morning Message, March 13, 2009.



Grade ones were a sweet bunch but a handful! Every Friday afternoon, I would go home and nap for a few hours, exhausted from the week. They are very needy and what seems like common sense to us is not the case with the sweethearts. Many of my professors have deemed grade one their favourite grade to teach because they say that it's the most rewarding grade where one sees the most progress. Children come in lacking social skills or the ability to read and by second term, they are amongst the most vociferous in the schoolyard as well as gone up five reading levels. The kiddies are obedient, respectful, and eager to learn for the most part. But they are also very young and are liable to burst into tears of homesickness or even soil their pants during a poetry lesson (yes, my minilesson drove a little boy to poop in his pants, haha). I loved singing songs with them, motions and all, as well as the many read-alouds and shared reading that we did as a class. Having completed the practicum in the Winter, what drove me crazy was how freaking long it took them to put on or remove their winter clothing before and after recesses, boots flailing everwhere, missing mittens, snowpants that were threadbare and held up by safety pins. What I definitely do miss are the spontaneous hugs children greet you with or even the random "I love you"s that they are prone to say just because you are their teacher.

Revenge of the Nerds

Qapla!

You Are 52% Nerdy

You may be a bit surprised with this score, but you are more of a closet nerd than an actual nerd. Stop denying your inner nerd! You're truly dorkier than you think.

How Nerdy Are You?

Listening to: Devendra Banhart - Lover

What Flavour Smoothie Are You?

Mostly for Didi's viewing pleasure.
Who the hell makes up these things? LOL.

You Are a Peach Smoothie

You are indulgent and a bit hedonistic. You crave luxury in all aspects of your life. You are passionate and even a bit temperamental. You have strong emotions. You are fiery and expressive. You don't hide what you feel, even if people may not want to know it. You are charming and a natural entertainer. People are drawn to your charisma.

Listening to: Cut Copy - Unforgettable Season

What's your tale, nightingale?

HepKat and I had quiche and americanos for lunch at Bonjour Brioche in Leslieville, and the rapport was great, catching up with one another about various life happenings. We've kept in touch since we broke up the past December, mostly over msn, and this was the second time we had met face-to-face (the first being an awkward sushi dinner before my Arizona/Vegas trip in late-February). After knowing each other for close to a decade, and the break-up being a natural progression in our relationship (more on that another time), I still consider HepKat to be a close friend of mine and I know he does too.... or does he not?

Lunch was almost 3 weeks ago and ever since then, we've been online at the same time almost everyday that I'm logged in, and yet there hasn't been the familiar "nudge" or "wassup" from him. No email, no IM, no phone call..... nothing. This is so unlike us, not to communicate for such a lengthy period of time.

I have my suspicions as to why.

Maybe I was too verbose over lunch, and then afterwards at his place, but at the same time, it was he that continued to ask me what was new in my life even after I exhausted the usual subjects. So I suspected that he was digging for romantical information.... and I gave it to him. Perhaps sprinkled with too many details? Should I have kept my mouth shut?

I remember walking away from him, after a brisk goodbye kiss, thinking that maybe, just maybe, some things were better left unmentioned. But, at the same time, isn't this what good friends talk about with one another? When is it ok to talk about the romantic future with someone from your romantic past?

Listening to: Hot Chip - No Fit State

Wolverine

Last night, I watched X-Men Origins: Wolverine for the second time in one week. Why, you may ask? It's not like it's an extraordinary movie. Two words: MAN CANDY.

May I present the evidence:

#1 Hugh Jackman aka Logan/Wolverine

Ok, I think that any hot-blooded woman would find this man indecently hot. Several gratuitous shots of his ripped glory are found in the scene where he fights the Blob in the boxing ring.... mmmmm rippling muscles.....mmmmmm..... or when he's jumping off a cliff, running across fields, shivering in barns (in the buff)....... or that scene of him coming out of his log cabin in the Rockies in his pj pants...

#2 Taylor Kitsch aka Remy LeBeau/Gambit *swoon*

I had heard from a few sources that my favourite X-Men character, Gambit, is being played by "some ugly dude." Ugly? I think not. Taylor is so cute and with my high expectations for this role, he didn't disappoint, other than the lack of an accent. It was more of a slight drawl but the charm was there. Here's hoping that he'll be in the next movie.

#3 Daniel Henney aka Agent Zero

Evil Eurasian hottie... I definitely want to see more of him. Wanted to post a half-naked pic of him but it looked like a pervy ad for American Apparel... not very becoming!

Enough said! It's worth the price of admission just so see the man candy in action!

update

I was awakened at 8:30 this morning by Snoopy's name flashing on my Blackberry.

Really?
8:30am?????

Good news: looks like Neil got the apartment!!!

test

is this thing on? how long are these margins anyway? after all this fiddling around, who has the patience to blog anymore? i am going to get me some more buttered toast.